Another round of simcha inflation
posted by Shira Salamone at 12:54 PM
Monday, August 31, 2009
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- Name: Shira Salamone
Once upon a time, I belonged to a left-wing egalitarian Conservative synagogue, where I was one of a number of women who wore a tallit—and one of the few members who used an Orthodox prayer book (adding the Mothers, of course). Having moved since then, I now belong to a right-wing traditional Conservative synagogue, where I’m almost always the only woman wearing a tallit—and one of the few members who adds the Mothers. I seem destined to be forever . . . on the fringe.
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4 Comments:
Still, there was more of a feeling of we want the family to be here and enjoy than we want to show off how much money we have to spend.
And the fact that so many family members helped to get everything set up...my dad's family was huge.
He was the youngest of 8 children who lived to adulthood and he was young enough to be the son of two of his sisters.
When we used to gather years ago we often would have nearly 60 or more people when you added in my mom's family.
thanks for the link...brought back memories.
That's true--no mention was made of whether the food was meat or dairy or of how much money was spent. Perhaps I'm speaking from personal experience, as a member of a not-particularly-close-knit family. To me, simply having that many people at a simchah seems extravagant. So perhaps I'm not being entirely fair in characterizing this bris as an example of simcha inflation.
sorry, Shira, you're wrong on this one. 80 people is not unreasonable, and you don't know what food for 80 pple means. Could be deli sandwiches, or bagels and lox. This isn't simcha inflation. You can't nail down how many people will come, so you don't want to run out of food.
This is a se'udat mitzvah. Inflation would be a black tie affair, or a hot catered meal of filet mignon. You can't say that it's inflated just because they have a lot of people.
We'll have about 30 people for friday night dinner for my daughter's bat mitzvah, and that's just family. Lunch the next day with family, out of town guests, and the girls in her class will probably be close to 100. And even more for the se'udat shlishit/melavah malkah we have planned. And this will be low key and appropriate, but between family and the community, smaller isn't necessarily better.
The difference is that we'll have one guy on the keyboards for the melavah malkah, and dinner will be buffet. Fancy it won't be, but a simcha it will be.
I withdraw my objection in the face of such logical arguments--we don't know how fancy a meal this was, but we do know that it's better to have a bit too much food when one doesn't know how many people are coming than to have too little.
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